UK Election 2015: A None Vote is the Wrong Vote


Election 2015

Tomorrow is another huge day for British politics, and for the country as a whole. After five years, the 2015 general election is almost here, and local candidates far and wide, along with their volunteering supporters, have been knocking on your front doors, posting flyers through the letter box, and generally trying to get their face, name and party seen and heard as much as is humanly possible, in attempt to convince you that their party is the best option – rumour has it, the Green Party have even hired Snoop Dogg as entertainment for their next annual conference – and win your vote on 6th May, essentially assisting their party leaders through the doors of Number Ten.

The chances are that by now you either know who will have your vote, or you still haven’t got a clue.

If neither of the above match the position you find yourself in, I’m willing to bet that you ‘can’t be arsed’ voting, are taking a stand against democracy in general, or have been too busy trying to get to the next blasted level on Candy Crush for the last six months to even realise that David Cameron and Nick Clegg’s ‘Lib Con’ coalition has come to the end of its five year tenure.

35% of registered voters chose not to in the 2010 General Election

35% of those registered to vote, chose not to in the 2010 General Election

If you’re anywhere near the latter trio, that’s absolutely your decision, but you’d do well to remember that choice the next time you complain about the country you call home, and I urge you to reconsider, and have your say on the country’s next journey, regardless of it being late in the day to make a decision on who gets your ‘X’ tomorrow.

I’m currently pulled over on the outskirts of the ‘haven’t a clue’ region, and feel both relief and concern at the probability of many being equally undecided.

Do I stick with the same option as I’ve always gone with or not? Do I put my faith in the party that offer so much, yet fail to convince me that they’ll be able to come through with the goods once their leader has unpacked in Downing Street? Oh, wait, that’s every party. The point is though, that I’ve only ever voted Labour. This year, it’s difficult to be sure that this is the route to go down.

Which party will get your vote?

Which party will get your vote?

In all honesty, a lot of their policies sound great; ‘rescuing’ the NHS – Ed Miliband’s Batman to David Cameron’s Penguin being a hilarious vision – is a great point to focus on, however there is additional spending on the health service – admittedly several other areas too – being promised by every wo/man and their dog. This is probably down to the fact the NHS is a hot topic at some point during everybody’s day to day lives, whether it be the waiting times in A&E, the infuriating struggle to even get through to local surgeries to get an appointment, or those bloody inconsiderate ambulances’ wailing sirens forcing everybody to pull over, after you’ve been hard at work in the office all day and just want to get home in time for the soaps. The parties realise this, and that is why they feed promises to the masses.

It has to be of some concern to those usually voting for Labour, that the SNP could end up pulling the strings above Miliband, which causes me to wonder whether Aardman Animations have found a new direction, venturing away from Plasticine characters.

All jokes aside, this does beg the question, ‘a vote for Labour, is a vote for whom?’ As conflicting interests within Parliament is inevitable, given that there are MPs from multiple parties, constituencies and so on, in the room, but conflicting interests within the same leadership?

I suppose that was always going to be an issue in 2010, too, given the non-majority result forced two parties to become ‘one’. Something that is hard to deny, is that Cameron hasn’t done that badly with regards to the economy, which he’s seemed infatuated with telling us, and as reports suggest. Progress can only be aided by him having far more time on his hands since the re-branding of Lurpak’s advertising campaign.

It’s hard to say Cameron and Clegg have done alright, as the latter has seemingly served as little more than a strap-on in a five-year-long Conservative orgy. That statement in no way implies that he’s had any physical contact with any under-age rent boys, and this is an area I’ll leave well alone, given that it’s a rather touchy subject, and this is an unbiased piece.

Whatever your interests, from the economy to immigration, if you have a spare few minutes, I’d recommend visiting ‘Vote For Policies’ and going through the different categories, depending on where you feel your priorities lie. Once you’ve selected these, you’ll be shown the anonymous policies of the parties in your area, and you’ll select which ‘fit the bill’ in your eyes, before the most suitable party is calculated based on your answers.

I’d say that completing a little ‘quiz’ like this is the most sensible and logical resolution to the ‘who do I vote for?’ dilemma. You may be surprised at how much of a ‘bigot’ you turn out to be, or your original suspicions could possibly be confirmed that you do in fact have the underlying urge to go and live in the forest, ‘hugging trees’ and loving the planet. However, fear not, compadre, this isn’t a legally binding vote; you can change your mind on Election Day.

(from left): David Cameron - Conservatives, Ed Miliband - Labour, Nick Clegg - Liberal Democrats, Nigel Farage - UKIP, Natalie Bennett - Green Party

The Party Leaders (from left): David Cameron – Conservatives, Ed Miliband – Labour, Nick Clegg – Liberal Democrats, Nigel Farage – UKIP, Natalie Bennett – Green Party

Not that I’d recommend it, as it could possibly make your decision harder, but you could decide between your local candidates purely based on which of the party leaders you like the best. Or in some cases, who you think seems less of a smug bell-end, which is understandable, if you’ve ever watched a Parliament debate. At times, in the heat of a Labour vs Conservative face off, it’d be more constructive for the Wealdstone Raider to shout ‘you’ve got no plans!’ in response to everything anybody says. Perhaps we need to see Sacha Baron Cohen’s Ali G return, so he can explain the meaning of ‘restecp’ to them.

However you make your choice, whoever your choice is, make sure it means something, and use your right to vote on Thursday, otherwise, you essentially lose your right to complain for the next five years.


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